![]() Thomas: “Mom, it makes me really mad when you are so cranky in the morning. Stiffelman provides a great example of this listening exercise in her book, excerpted with permission* as follows: When your child is finished, you ask questions or summarize what you heard until your child generates “three yeses.” And then, the process is reversed the child practices listening. The person doing the listening is not allowed to interrupt, disagree, roll eyes, or in any way belittle the person speaking. Ask your child to talk about the topic in question for two to three minutes while you listen. The next time you and your child have difficulty listening, try this simple exercise. One of Stiffelman’s listening exercises for families drew my interest because of its ease of use and potentially powerful results. When families practice good listening skills, they feel heard and understood-a win-win for families, even when no agreement is reached. Especially for children, listening is the great equalizer-a set of behaviors that helps kids see themselves more “equal with” rather than “less than “others. “Parents are certainly teachers or guides for our children,” says Stiffelman, “but if you step back and see everything in your life-including child-rearing-as opportunities to learn more about yourself and grow as a person, then hardly anyone is as valuable a teacher as your child.”Īctive listening is a practice that helps everyone grow in their understanding of others-parents and children alike. What I love most about her approach is that she not only sees parenting as a process of raising children, but also an opportunity for personal growth. In her new book, Parenting with Presence: Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident, Caring Kids, marriage and family therapist Susan Stiffelman offers proven, practical strategies that help parents grow more empathetic and connected children. How can parents and children improve their listening skills and understand each other better? ![]() Yet listening is often one of the greatest challenges for families. ![]() They acquire the abilities to emotionally connect with others, make friends, and develop lifelong social skills. When kids feel seen, heard, and understood, they learn the meaning of empathy. Listening to one another is one of the most important ways parents and children create close, loving relationships. ![]()
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